KatherineAnn’s Blog

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This is the end… of the beginning

on February 27, 2012

Well, today was my last day in the office of the Calloway County Family Resource Center and CC-ASAP, where i have spent the entire semester (500 hrs) as an intern.  I am so full of mixed emotions… i hate those by the way, i like to be very black and white about how i feel, but of course with me it’s never that way because i think too far into everything.  anyway, once again in my life, it is the end of something great that didn’t last long, and the beginning of “who knows what.”  Although i have no reason to doubt God and what He will do with me but i just can’t stand the thought of wasting my time anywhere for any amount of time.  i say, if i’m going to be here on this earth living and breathing and dealing with world “stuff” then i better be useful at all times or else there was no reason for me to be on earth dealing with “stuff” at that moment so why was i there?  i know, it’s a horrible way to think but lets face it, i’m one of those children that God never has to worry about me falling in love with the world.  this place is not my home, i have never felt comfortable here or that i belong here or fit here in any way.  Yeah it’s not fun but what can you do right?  Because of that, it’s hard for me to picture what life will be like for me from here on out.  Having a job and just living a normal human life day after day just does not seem worth it all to me.  i want a bigger adventure, i want life to be more than that.  I want something spectacular, not something normal like worry, to jump start my heart in the morning.  I guess it’s my own sin that i deal with that thinks that anything other than a big, spectacular adventure is a waste of time/life.  Man, i have just been Debbie Downer these past couple of weeks.  Sorry about that.  This probably happens because i work so hard at being happy all day.

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